My father cultivated a regard for reputation and first impressions in me from a young age that I’m thankful for. He taught me that how you dress, how you shake someone’s hand and how you talk to people when first meeting them impacts their impression of you and there’s no changing first impressions.

I now find myself in a place where I’m relearning lessons from my youth as if they were new to me. And this past week learned a lesson about the power of how you speak to people in a less than likely situation – while organizing a concert featuring two eccentric hip hop acts.

I had never taken on such an endeavor as organizing a concert at a legitimate music venue. I didn’t know what I was doing, so I asked questions. I sent emails to the artists and the bar owner keeping them in the loop the whole time. Honestly, it mostly stemmed from a lack of confidence in what I was doing. If a more seasoned professional, be it the owner of the bar or one of the artists had some insight that could aid what I was doing, I wanted them to be able to assist me. So I pestered them with emails, texts and phone calls to the point I fretted that I was beginning to annoy them. The show was a success, everyone had a good time and all the details were taken care of once the show happened. I was able to meet with one of the bands last night for dinner.

They were incredibly gracious with their praise. These guys loved all our interactions, from months past to the day of the show. I didn’t know how to react for two reasons. 1. I was surprised that honest conversations and a bunch of emails could have such an impact on people 2. The realization that although this seemed like common sense to me, it’s apparently not. Or if it is common sense it can be blocked by motives that keep that sense from surfacing. Greed, pride, jealousy, fear etc.

How does this relate to you? It permeates everything about who we are and what we do in this field. What are you saying? What is your brand saying? Is it honest? Could you sit across from your  brand at a table and engage in an honest conversation?

When your customer/client (a real person, like you) comes over to your brand’s house (website, email, package) how are they greeted, how does your hand shake (introduction copy, thoughtful and effective placement of elements, design) feel to them?

When they talk to you do they get a sense that you really know who you are? Do you shake their hand with confidence? Do you look them in the eye and talk to them honestly, like you’d like to be talked to? Even if you answered yes, if you’re like me you know you can do better. And they deserve better. What my father taught me is true, you can’t change first impressions. A great thing about people though, that despite failures and mistakes, we root for the second chance.

We’re quick to forgive celebrities after a tearful confession of the mistakes they’ve made. Likewise, tabloids and business journals alike tear down giants who are too proud to be honest with who they are, what they’ve done and the negative effects that those actions have. We root for the second chance, the miracle comeback, because if we’re honest with ourselves we know that’s what we need too.

How you talk says a lot and you might not be able to change a first impression, but you can overcome it – it might just take some dedication and hard work.